You can lead a horse to water ...

... but you can’t make it drink. They are big, powerful beasts, these creatures that I adore; big, powerful beasts with minds of their own. People who say racing is cruel don’t understand that: you can’t make a horse race if doesn’t want to. My sister has three ex-racehorses, one of which ran four times before it became obvious this was not the life for him. He has the breeding, but not the desire.

Similarly, you ‘ask’ a horse to do something, you don’t ‘tell’ them, because if they don’t want to, you can’t make them. My friend asked her new horse to stand still today. The horse reared vertical, overbalanced and fell over backwards. For one long, long moment, they were both rolling around on the ground. Horses can break their back and kill their rider when they do that. That rear came out of the blue; there was no warning. You can't legislate for something like that. The horse is going back from whence it came.

I, and everyone I know who rides, have had some crashing falls. I have jumped jumps without my mount, I have been dropped on top of post and rail fencing, I have been concussed, I have slammed flat on my back on the road, winded and shocked, so that when I managed to stand up, I vomited. I could go on …

The air ambulance visits these parts at least once a year. Whenever I see its collecting box on a shop counter, I put my change in. I see it as investing in my future.

My friend was lucky today: she escaped with bruises and got back on the horse. You have to. It’s a bit like life.

A spring bonnet

There are two types of people in the modern world: hat lovers and hat haters. I am in the former group. It’s a good job really, as I wear a riding hat most days. I have two: the sumptuous navy velvet one that comes out for ‘posh’ and the everyday jockey skull that I wear with a purple velvet cover. I am deeply desirous of a vented hat for the summer; you don’t want to know about how sweaty my hat was after an exuberant grey mare and I had a show jumping practice session yesterday …

In addition to the ‘necessary hats’ – the riding hats and the hats with flaps to stop a perishing north wind from whistling into my brain in dark winter fields (beware the Judder Man when the moon is fat) – I have plenty of frivolous hats. I have tweedy and corduroy caps with peaks; velvet hats; berets; fake fur hats and a superb cream creation that only comes out for racing in the summer. I have a green velvet hat box full of millinery. I prefer to tuck my hair into a hat when it rains than to use an umbrella.

I don’t know why or when people stopped wearing hats as a matter of course. Once it was new hats that we craved but women have, I think, replaced their worship of millinery with a fetish for shoes. You seldom see a man wearing a hat now either, unless it is a baseball cap, a woolly job to protect a shaved head in winter or a farmer with his flat cap. I once had a boyfriend who had a fedora and shiny shoes; I thought it was a classy combination.

But other than the races, people only seem to wear ‘unnecessary’ hats when they celebrate the Church of England's rites of passage: weddings, christenings and funerals.

Tipster service # 2

Grand National Day has always had special resonance for me. As I have previously mentioned, I was sucked in by National Velvet at a young age, and never quite recovered. The race is the ultimate test of horse and rider, and has for me, a special romance that the Cheltenham Gold Cup can’t quite emulate.

Anyway, enough wittering. My tips for glory tomorrow are:

1. Hedgehunter – I know everyone says he can’t do it again, but I shall keep the faith. He was only beaten by the weight last year. C’mon Ruby!


2. Longshanks – I keep hearing good things about this horse.


3. Simon – simple name and lovely story. He was bred and is owned by Mercy Rimell, who is now in her mid-80s. More than half a century ago, her late husband trained the first of his four Grand National winners. Oh, and this horse is supposed to be quite good, as well.

Disclaimer: Do not back a horse based on my tips. It will only lead to heartache. I will not be responsible for the loss of any monies due to you disobeying this advice. However, if you do win thanks to my foresight, commission should be paid at the rate of 25% ...