Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Fatal curiosity

My cousin is home from the War on Terror. I walked into my mum’s and he was sitting on the sofa, drinking tea.

My sister and I berated him for not bringing his gun with him, so we could shoot annoying tourists.

I wanted to ask him if he’d shot anyone, but I didn’t. Well, it’s only in Agatha Christie that one discusses killing over a nice cup of tea.

15 comments:

mountainear said...

Go on. Ask. You know you want to.

rilly super said...

I don't think it's the thing to ask M&M. It sounds pretty s**t out there for those lads, he'd probably rather talk about something else on time off

Anonymous said...

Rilly, you are bang on the money as usual - there are some things one just doesn't ask.

Eminem, much as I share your hatred of 'grockles' your episode with the horse and the blokes on the beach leaves me with little sympathy. As with skiing, the faster moving thing has to give way to the slower moving thing.

Although you try explaining that to a kite...

mutterings and meanderings said...

Mountainear, I do but I won't

Rilly, indeed, I won't ask but I can't help my curiosity

Anon, the sodding tourists should look where they are bloody going. Do NOT get me started...

Arthur Clewley said...

M&M, my town is absolutely heaving with visitors on a summer's day, thank goodness because they help keep the shops open, but many of them are day trippers and as I am lucky enough to live here I can have it all to myself early in the morning or in the evening, except for the boy racers who congregate at the fosse on a summer's evening, or the drinkers on the river bank, because they live here as well, and all winter. I am not unsympathetic; I don't have a horse but I do have to come and go following lost people towing caravans behind nissan micras with a man with a red flag walking in front of them but, you know, All part of life's rich tapestry and that...

Anonymous said...

Hmmm.. but if the tourists were visually impaired, and therefore they couldn't see you coming, I still feel that wouldn't give you carte blanche to run the grey mare into them..

Although it might make for an interesting YouTube hit...

mutterings and meanderings said...

Arthur, they are I suppose a necessary evil...

Anon, he was about to run ito me. He shoudl look where he was going. Do you cross the street without looking? If you do and you're hit it's your own fault. If he was visually impaired (which he was not) he would've been able to hear the pounding hooves (they are not quiet). If he was blind and deaf, he should not be leading a small child up the beach.

Anonymous said...

I hear what you are saying, but if a car runs over a child that runs into the road, then the burden of proof is on the car driver to prove that he was not at fault, NOT the other way around. The default position is that the car driver should 'expect the unexpected' and drive at a speed which allows him or her to react to such events. I can understand your approach, but if you do end up running someone over with the horse, don't expect the court to give much sympathy to your view that it was their fault and that 'they should have been looking'. It will be up to you to prove your innocence, I'm afraid.

mutterings and meanderings said...

My point is that they should not leave their brains at home.

Or perhaps, they shouldn't leave home at all ....

Gill said...

maybe tourists should be issued with hot pink hello kitty armbands so that they can be recognised- might be some confusion with bad Thai cops though...

@themill said...

Good idea, Gill although there's probably some sort of anti-ism law against it!
Just let your cousin talk M&M. He'll tell you what he wants to, when he wants to.

rilly super said...

M&M dear, I'm really most terribly fond of you but I sincerely hope your cousin never lets you near any automatic weapons...

Anonymous said...

I've come up with a compromise solution...

If you come across annoying tourists when on your travels on the beach with your grey mare, you could add to the excitement of their holiday by tying their ankles together with a rope, then attaching the other end to the grey mare's saddle.

You could then go off for a little run, safe in the knowledge that they are 'right behind you' - in the manner of those cowboy films..

You could even convince them that it is a 'northern' form of sport to keep the population entertained in the years before 'theme parks' were invented.

muddyboots said...

well tourist in york have their names on little stickers attached to their chests, just in case they forget who they are.

Graf von Straf Hindenburg said...

Agree with Rilly here.