Friday, June 15, 2007

Cross-examined

I am expecting something of this kind from the powers that be at Blogger, after one of my darling cats stood on the mouse while it hovered over the ‘Flag this Blog for Objectionable Content’ button. Honest guv, I ain’t done nuffin’ wrong

However, I have received an altogether more interesting cross-examination from my aristocratic friend in Morocco:

What were you doing ten years ago?

On a rainy June evening, much like tonight, I was attending a County Ball in a long black dress with a beaded, mirrored and embroidered bodice. Both the ball – and my dress – were rather fabulous.

What were you doing one year ago?

Sitting on the kitchen floor crying because I’d had to move into a flat I didn’t like.

Five snacks you enjoy

1. Marmite crisps.
2. Black olives.
3. Cherries.
4. Houmous.
5. Thortons Viennese truffles.

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics

I am one of these sad people who is very good at remembering song lyrics, so I will go for the sub-genre of five songs I know the words to and favour when I am drunk:

1. Theme from the Monkees.
2. The Laughing Gnome.
3. The Wizard of Oz.
4. Band of Gold.
5. Mrs Robinson.

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire

1. See my family and friends all right.
2. Open a sanctuary for horses.
3. Buy, train and ride a Grand National runner.
4. Write a novel.
5. Get a Hollywood smile.

Five bad habits

1. Being smug about stopping smoking.
2. Crisps.
3. Untidiness.
4. Sarcasm.
5. Paddington Bear hard stares.

Five things you like doing

1. Riding.
2. Generally messing around with horses.
3. Reading.
4. Listening to music.
5. Drinking G&T with ice and a slice of lime.

Five things you would never wear again

1. Ra-ra skirt.
2. Frilly New Romatic-stylee blouse.
3. Bay City Rollers T-shirt.
4. Pedal pushers.
5. Black PVC trousers.

Five favourite toys

I am not a toy person in the gadget sense of the word:

1. The toy lamb I have had since I was four.
2. The beanie Bagpuss sitting on top of my PC
3. My digital camera.
4. My stereo which still has a record player on it.
5. My Tarot cards.

Now I have to tag a further five bloggers – and this time, I’m going for some of my male visitors:

Chip Dale, Arthur Clewley (where have you gone, Arthur?), Stay at Home Dad, Brom and the Universal Ladyboy, who frequents Gill’s blog.


20 comments:

Anonymous said...

You have in the past worn a ra-ra skirt, pedal pushers and PVC strides ? You have gone up massively in my estimation. Although being told you will never wear them again is a bit of a downer :-[

But marmite crisps, mmm..Scrummy..
And you can get a recipe book purely for marmite - including marmite biscuits.

Dad Stuff said...

The Bay City Rollers and the Monkeys. Not too bad.

muddyboots said...

christ almiety l'd forgotten about ra ra skirts. thanks for that!!

DJ Kirkby said...

Marmite crisps, houmous, cherries! Yummy! Do you like your flat now or have you moved on?

Gill said...

oh bollocks does that mean I have to blog as shim again!?

merry weather said...

Great lists.... I have a comprehensive recall of every Madness song ever written, when drunk (sadly, very seldom these days...)!

Anonymous said...

So I am not the only one who sings along to that new M&S advert - great when they run into the sea, and out again sharpish, but even better when they recreate the scene with the surfboards..

Here we come...

Omega Mum said...

I think 'messing around with horses' would, in certain, innuendo-sensitive quarters, give your blog that 'unacceptable flag'....so you may get there yet. Jolly good read.

mutterings and meanderings said...

Anon, I still own the PVC trousers ...

Hello dad stuff - you shouldn't admit a liking for the BCRs out loud ...

Muddyboots, I thunk thet are best forgotten!

DJ, I moved two days before Christmas. I love my current abode...

Certainly does, Gill, but I thought you channelled shim?

Welcome Merry weather, I love Madness!

Anon, when you're drunk, you have to do the Monkees' walk as well...

Oh don't OM, I am afraid Blooger may shut me down for the slip of a cat's paw!

ziggi said...

why do you have to be a millionaire to write a novel?

mutterings and meanderings said...

Ziggi, so I have the time to set aside to do so.

Gill said...

Eminem can you write a page a day? By the end of the year you will have a book. However, if you are slow like me it will take you 4 years. Begin today!

Cathy said...

I love those Viennese Truffles too!

But I'd choose Daydream Believer over the Monkees theme tune...

mutterings and meanderings said...

Gill, I don't know what I would write about. I have one children's book planned, plotted and researched in a file, and two others vaguely plotted.. None of them are inspiring me at the moment ...

Cathy, I have a weakness for the Monkees full stop, but when you're drunk it just has to be the theme tune (even though Pleasant Valley Sunday is my favourite of theirs) ...

Drunk Mummy said...

Great list! You are very brave to own up to knowing all the lyrics to The Laughing Gnome - what a 'party piece'!

Gill said...

well eminem being a millionare probably won't give you inspiration anyway, so do it NOW. Begin today. Don't THINK about what you are going to write- just write page one of your vaguely planned novel. Then tomorrow you write page two. GET ON WITH IT!!

Gill said...

and if what you have thought about writing so far doesn't inspire you then write something that does. JUST DO IT.

mutterings and meanderings said...

Drunk Mummy, I can even do the asides.. 'hic, pardon', 'That's Fred, he's a metronome', etc ...

Gill, I think you have missed your vovation or there is a new career opportunity for you as a motivational guru!

Gill said...

my friends call me a freelance nag!

lady macleod said...

Brilliant answers all, I especially like the first, and I'm sorry about the second.