Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Resurrection shuffle


Dealing with a dying computer was not the way I wanted to end my Bank Holiday. The inconsiderate creature decided to gasp its last when I was blogging. Something about a fatal error in the registry. I’m used to its blue screens of death; it usually gets over them if I sigh deeply, cajole, then threaten. This time, though, there were no reviving cyber-smelling salts. It was gone – taking with it all my (unbacked up) Word documents, photos and a few CDs worth of music. I could say I was rather cross but I believe incandescent with rage is the phrase I’m looking for.

The only way I could resurrect it was to use the reload CD: the one that wipes off everything and takes the computer back to basics. Then I had to reload my broadband stuff and ring the nice man at my ISP because I couldn’t remember my user name. Then I had to reload Office.

I remember the first time I loaded software on to a PC I was afraid I would somehow cock it up. Now I am blasé – I simply don’t care. These stupid machines have a mind of their own, and quite often they have malicious moods. If they take it upon themselves to eat your documents and photos, there is absolutely nothing you can do. "Internet Explorer has encountered a problem and will now close". You – the supposedly intelligent member of this partnership – don’t have the slightest say in the matter. “Oh no, don’t close,” you cry. You think you hear the PC chuckling demonically to itself as it shuts down…

My PC – a £80 second hand jobbie – has always been a fragile prima donna. I thought I treated it well – it had a nice firewall, it had anti-virus protection and I frequently scanned for malware. But it didn’t even have the decency to tell me it was going to close down and gobble up my unsaved thoughts. It just struck, hard and fast.

And if some clever clogs decides to tell me that I could have done something to save my things – a word to the wise: don’t. You wouldn’t like me when I’m incandescent with rage. Just ask the computer.

21 comments:

Orhan Kahn said...

Funny story; I was reading your previous post and clicked on the picture of the horse to get a better look, when I clicked 'back' I discovered this post in its place. Thought to myself, 'lol, what happened to the horse?!'

Orhan Kahn said...

I share your experience with computers, just recently I thought it happened again but thankfully it was just a loose RAM slot, or something. Just keep in mind you can extract data from your computer even if it isn't working. Next time - God forbid - this happens just give your hard-drive to a friend who knows computers. You'll be right :)

Anonymous said...

Oh, babe, there are some things to economise on life - trust me, a PC ain't one of them.

Rather like a car, if one buys it too cheap, it will reclaim the 'saving' over its period of ownership.

I don't know what 'make' yours is, and some would argue that they are all a bit of a 'muchness'. But I do like my 'Toshiba' - the sort of PC equivalent of a Honda car - 'It just works'. I am sure that there are other good ones, but don't for heaven's sake get a second hand one - you never know what you might find on it...

That said they all seem to come with that bloody 'Vista' crap now.

Although Dell have had to cave in to the demands of angry customers and agree to sell PCs with XP for a limited time, so that might work as a fairly cheap and cheerful.

But when it comes to computers I am reminded of the words of Richard Nixon - 'If you've got 'em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow'.

Hence why I've yet to become a 'Mac' evangelist..

dulwichmum said...

How very frustrating.

DM

beta mum said...

That's dreadful.
Mine does that blue screen thing sometimes and I have to call my brother to help me get it back into the land of the living.
One day, I know, there will be nothing he can do and it will be the end of this machine I ordered over the phone while in labour with my daughter.

Sarnia said...

When that happens chez Sarnia (and it has - twice) I just buy a new pooter.

I am so woefully ignorant of all things Computer. How to send emails and go on the web is my limit.

Pig in the Kitchen said...

oh bugger, that sounds enough to send me into a spiral truffle-eating. You sound very calm. Whenever something blips with my PC my husband always adopts a paternal, (slightly threatening) tone and says, 'what have you done?'.

Hope it doesn't happen again...all that unsaved / unbacked-up work, I'm shuddering on your behalf.
Pigx

Pig in the Kitchen said...

'a spiral OF truffle-eating', not actually going into some strange spiral-shaped object. That is eating truffles.
Going now...

mutterings and meanderings said...

The computer knows, I think, that it is on borrowed time.

It's at times like these that I'm glad I'm such a hoarder - I'm even quite loathe to delete pics from my digital camera. I also have a number of other things strewn around cyberspace that I can go and collect...

Oh Beta Mum, that sounds a painful memory!

Sarnia - I am blonde and ignorant of things computer but sometimes it's a war of wits and I refuse to be beaten!!

Were they rum truffles, Pig? ;)

Yorkshire Pudding said...

Ha! Ha! You really are a very witty lady! My computer has also been playing up recently - switching itself off and dropping the internet connection. Bastard! I really should make CDs of all the photos I have stored on my hard drive and your story reminds me of what can happen. Ah well maybe next eekend.

Stay at home dad said...

Very sorry to hear it M&M. It must all be in there somewhere though, surely?

Sahd

debio said...

I, too, hate the way computers 'decide' to do things for me.
When I used to have files on my desk - real files, labelled and colour coded - they never up'd and left of their own free will.
I thought the purpose of computers, to transfer the reality to the vitual, was meant to be progress....

Mopsa said...

Pat it, offer it a g&t, twirl your most colourful feather duster round its ears and if all else fails, do what you did again - talk dirty to it. Windows (the glass kind), I feel, were created with the sole purpose of having bastard computers thrown through them.

ziggi said...

they're male - what d'you expect?

bastards

Nunhead Mum of One said...

I'm glad it's not just me! When my PC says "Internet Explorer will now close" I say "oh pleeeeeeeease don't!!!!!" It almost gives me a saucy litle wink as the screen goes blank.

It's not as if I'm not polite when using it. I thank it when it finishes printing for me and I say goodbye to it when I log off.

You'd think it'd treat me with a bit more respect really.

rilly super said...

oops, I thought this was M&M's blog but I seem to have stumbled into an anger management support group. Lots of people around my way don't like computers either actually so I printed off my blog and delivered it through all the letterboxes in the village so everyone could read what I thought about them, but did I get any thanks? did I heck! I'm sticking to the old way of doing it.

mutterings and meanderings said...

YP, I wasn't trying to be witty. I was sharing my anguish ....

SAHD, you'd think so, wouldn't you? But I'm buggered if I can retrieve it ...

Debio, I lose hard copy stuff, but at least I know it's there somewhere

Mopsa, I do the threats better than I do the dirty talking ...

Ziggi, precisely!

NMO, I do think they revel in toying with us ...

Rilly, if we can all supoort each other in our hour of need, all will be well. Sigh...

mountainear said...

They're just machines for heaven's sake. Why are we creeping round these inanimate objects as if they were votive gods. Or maybe PC, lawn mower, washing machine, nail gun - perhaps they are the great gods of our time.

Discuss....

The Secretary said...

Current husband - of the VAX carpet shampooer purchasing tendancies, is a computer wiz (so he tells me - still not sure what he does for a living after 17 years of marriage - just tend to switch off when he starts to talk - men, bless them), so when these things happen in my house I pour a rather large gin and tonic and leave him too it. I can loan him out - and the Vax Carpet shampooer - still haven't forgiven him, but then my computer works so probably best to keep him, for now.

Anonymous said...

secretary - don't understand why it is such a bad thing to have a vax carpet shampoo thingy - they aren't that expensive are they ??

be very afraid if your hubby tells you that he is a 'computer whiz'. I would bet a hundred quid that this involves telling people how what they are asking is impossible without the spending of huge, six-figure sums and the tying up of his staff [possibly literally] for a number of weeks. Then bitching very loudly when someone else [who is invariably female] explains that some other IT people can do the same thing in half the time and at a quarter of the cost, and coming up with a number of increasingly contrived reasons why the cheaper solution 'will never fly'.

Please note, the job NEVER involves requiring any computing/technical know-who whatsoever as 'that is a chargeable cost'...

lady macleod said...

oh and haven't we all been there! Rage on dear. I was in such fear of being left stranded and computerless (?) that when on holiday in March I brought back a new laptop so that I could have the old Dell as a backup! Down here there is really no just running down to the shop and finding some incredibly well informed and skilled salesperson to tell me what I want and here it is all wrapped and ready to go. I clearly understand your state. There is a sentience there isn't there? hmmm