Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Of Kettle Chips and Caffeine

The lovely Rilly Super suggested that blogging may have been my displacement activity after I stopped smoking; alas, this was not the case. Blogging, I believe, has no calories. Kettle Chips, on the other hand, have loads. Especially when the Co-op is selling the large packets at two-for-one. Kettle Chips, along with Cornish pasties, lemon sherbets and chocolate limes were my oral substitutes for smoking and saw the speedy displacement of an extra stone – mostly on to my hips.

Like my previous half-hearted attempts to stop smoking, I’ve had a few vague stabs at shedding the excess weight. I’ve managed to get rid of a measly 4lbs, but no more. I am too vain and too mean to buy the next size up in clothes and I am getting rather bored with items straining at the seams.

So, I have bought a diet book. As well as cutting out nice things to eat, it commands that I banish all caffeine for at least a month. For someone who drinks strong black coffee and slurps tea throughout the day, this is a cruel commandment. The book suggests alternatives such as Rooiboos tea, which is not awfully pleasant, and dandelion coffee. I mean, dandelion coffee? I have instead substituted decaff Gold Blend and Tetley.

However, no one told me about the agony of caffeine withdrawal. Apparently my headache is caused by blood rushing to my head as the vessels contract due to the lack of caffeine. I fail to see how this is a good thing. It seems the pains in my back could be due to the same reason … either that, or it’s my age …


23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Something I wish I could do - shed a few pounds. I went up a size, can't be doing with diets. I think a lot's to do with willpower, of which I have none. Good luck with it, although I'm sure you're fine just the way you are.

Anonymous said...

Hey M&M

You are just SO much quicker off the mark than I am. Within 18 months of giving up smoking I had gained 2.5 stones! Lucky old me. Started out a size 10/12, galloped through 12/14, and only started dieting when the 16s started straining at the seams.

My tip for you is water. Now I thought the only use for water was bathing in it. It would never have occurred to me to drink it other than possibly in the form of tonic water - and then it would have had to have had a hefty slug of gin in it.

My diet plan involves drinking 8 glasses of cold water a day. The merit of all this water is that it is actually good for you and good for your diet. Allegedly it increases your metabolic rate.

Substitute water for your coffee. It's working a treat - I've only (only?) got another stone to shed.

Good luck

Pig in the Kitchen said...

the headache should go in a day or two, that's not much help is it?! Could you drink mint tea with fresh mint and some sugar, or are you not allowed sugar? How horrid. Maybe anon is right with the water plan...

Good luck, I hate dieting.
Pigx

Anonymous said...

Soon you'll have nothing to give up M&M, I'd go and have a fag and a coffee to celebrate!

Mopsa said...

Ah well, scatter the bread and the kettle chips for the birds, catch the birds and cook - poultry is very low on the GI side of things. Aha - another use for crows!

muddyboots said...

l really can't live without caffiene. start of day double small cappucino, & another follwoed by, dependent on energy levels, a few moschiatos in the afternoon. good luck with the stop smoking bit!!

@themill said...

I have conquered neither, and yes I know I haven't blogged for ages. Too busy doing battle with the monolith of social services for the daughters next stage funding. Drained every bit of creativity I have, I think.
I may recyle something.

Mutterings and Meanderings said...

Cj, my willpower isn't great unless I'm totally focused on something. I get to an 'enough is enough' point ...

Anon, well done! I am trying to up my water intake...


Pig, sugar is another no-no I'm afraid! I'm not a fan of mint tea but I do drink lemon and lemon and ginger...

Andy, trust me, I still have plenty of vices!

Mopsa, I imagine some evil fate would befall anyone who ate a crow ...

Muddyboots, stop making me jealous!

@themill, good luck in getting things sorted out.

lady macleod said...

I used tootsie roll pops.

No that h/a is from the caffeine withdrawal - can't see the sense of that myself, but all right.

If it is what you want, good luck but please don't overdo and get your self in a state.

Me said...

Atleast Kettle Chips are low in saturated fat, and thats all that matters.

Caffeine withdrawal is indeed a bitch. No bones about it! I've withdrawn from some heavy situations but never have I been able to shake my desire for coffee (and boobies).

rilly super said...

M&M, I think the saying goes something to the effect that if you give up smoking/drinking/coffee/cakes/pogoing it doesn't gurantee you'll live a hundred years, but it does guantantee that it'll seem like it

debio said...

I am now completely convinced that I shouldn't give up smoking - I'm on a permanent weight loss diet and couldn't eat less if I tried.
However, I'm right behind you M&M and awed by your self-discipline.

Whispering Walls said...

All this giving up is painful: I gave up alcohol for January and had a headache everyday for the first 3 weeks. Admittedly I felt better on 31st but was looking forward to a drink on 1 Feb.

@themill said...

Thank you. You have kicked me into action

Mutterings and Meanderings said...

Lady M, tootsie roll pops? I don't think we have those here... don't worry, I won't overdo it. I'm not going for the Posh Spice look! ;)

Orhan, Kettle Chips were put on this earth to tempt us ..

Rilly, I'll try not to become a bore ...

Debio, that was one of my many reasons for putting off stopping smoking. I thought: "I'll get fat" I did, but I'm going to get un-fat again ...

WW, I had a friend who used to do that every January to detox from the festive period.

@themill, go girl! I have been and seen ...

Omega Mum said...

Isn't riding very good for shedding calories? And it is true about the weight thing.....You can always lose it later. Happened to me (had to go through humiliation of eating all children's sweets and being publically exposed first...but still better than smoking)

Stay at home dad said...

I take the amount I want to eat of any one food, halve it, and that seems about right to keep the weight gain at bay...

Catherine said...

Please don't try and give up too many vices at once. Always fatal, but good luck to you with giving up smoking. Particularly now you can no longer go public with it.

I guess my recommendation for a northern lass would be a bowl of porage in the morning. You won't want anything else til lunchtime.

I'd do it myself, but I need a cup of coffee right now. Sorry. I am planning to give that up when I finish the packet, but can't bear to waste good coffee. We can swap headache notes.

Mutterings and Meanderings said...

OM, it is but I also eat like a horse...

SAHD, didn't have you down as a dieter...

Marianne, the fags have now been banished for a year so that's why I'm now tackling the post-smoking fat!

Karen said...

M&M my diet has crashed by the wayside (I am currently tucking into a piece of carrot cake - which can't be all bad can it as its CARROT?).

Fortunately I haven't put on any more weight since my lapse so that's one thing but I really do need to lose the weight as I am unhappy with my belly and hips.

There was a photograph of some ladies in the 50s wearing only underwear and I wished that I had been alive then as I would have been worshipped for my figure (although not the belly). Now I'm overweight (but apparently don't look it) and unhappy about my body but still don't seem to have the willpower to diet and exercise.

I have this excuse about my foot being too sore to do running type exercise but there are plenty of other things I could be doing...

Good luck M&M - I'm hoping the warmer weather will encourage me to eat lighter foods.

Brom said...

I love the illustration on this post.

I'm trying to lose a few expenses induced pounds. I already go to the gym, so it's trying to cut out the fat for me.

Good luck, and I'll let you know how I get on.

Gill said...

Dandelion coffee is just foul, the water advice is good though- I read a really interesting book called something like 'your body's many cries for water' and I found that following the advice in that has been really good for my skin.

As for dieting- it's a hideous torture- I just look at Rubens pics and the Venus of Willendorf-and instantly I'M A GODDESS.

Vitalife Matcha said...

Have you ever tried Matcha? Might be useful for you. It's got caffeine in it, but it's also got a bunch of health benefits. Win win! :)