Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Fingernails

Now that the ground is hard and dry as a bone, and the season of squelchy mud appears to be over, my thoughts have turned to my fingernails. The aforementioned mud is no longer lodged under my nails, staining the skin with a blackened crescent that no amount of prodding, poking, lotions or potions will shift. Cutting down the nail and peeling off the offending skin is the only effective way I’ve found of dealing with it.

Now, though, it’s gone. My nails are long and strong, if very unkempt. It’s a myth that horsy gals don’t have good fingernails; I think delving in all that muck fertilises them and makes them grow like prize roses.

My sister’s nails are currently a gothic purple-black, but I lean more towards the blues. I went to see Marianne Faithfull once and she had the most marvellous blue fingernails. She used them wisely, gesticulating as she sang standards from The Threepenny Opera. As a teenager, I was also influenced by Flo Jo’s nails. I was never an athletics fan, and her nails were a little claw-like for me, but I’d never seen anything like them before. I dug out my myriad-coloured nail polishes and painted my own rather smudged rainbows, hearts and flowers.


Like well-plucked eyebrows, I think well-tended fingernails make all the difference. After all, it’s the little things that count.

20 comments:

The Grocer said...

Your such a girl.

mutterings and meanderings said...

Admittedly, Grocer, I do have my moments ...

BB said...

I knew the grocer would agree, he likes his eyebrows plucked too...

PS Any more cock jokes?

Fnarr fnarrr...

Orhan Kahn said...

That picture is creepy, for some strange reason.

Brom said...

I agree. It's the little things that often make one stand out from the crowd and the expected.

Karen said...

I bite my nails. I'm going for the proper rock/goth look as my bitten nails look great with dark varnish on them. I don't the right shape fingers to carry off talons. I know there's meant to be all sorts of nasty germs under your nails but I haven't died yet and anyway it's probably making me immune as I think we use too many cleaning products in our homes now and it's just not good for us.

Mopsa said...

You are just so on message - today's Woman's Hour was all fingernaily:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/
womanshour/04/2007_15_wed.shtml

Arthur Clewley said...

well, now you've blown it M&M. If ever I meet someone with no eyebrows and three inch fingernails who keeps asking after Mick Jagger I'll know it's you

Liz said...

I bite my fingernails. Always have. If they ever manage to grow more than a fraction of nothing, they are so weak and fragile they bend and tear like paper.

I would love nails though. To click on desks and stroke my cheek.

Arthur Clewley said...

and dig into mens backs liz

Liz said...

Oh, yes, I nearly forgot that, most important, Arthur.

mutterings and meanderings said...

BB, get thee to Arthur's for such things ..

Orhan, there are much more scary things on your blog than those fingernails!

Brom, this is very true.

Karen, I agree with you that we're far too clean these days. I reckon that's why so many kids are allergic to so many things, because their immune systems never see any dirt and don't learn to protect themselves...

Mopsa, do you reckon they read my piece last night and copied??? (the BBC do, you know. I used to work there - but not for WH)

Arthur, I did so want to be MF when I was younger (she is a lot older than me BTW)

Liz, clicking long nails on desks only annoys colleagues.Or so I'm told...

bb said...

M, there's no way I'm discussing a yorkshiremans cock with him even if it is a fine specimen.

Snnnniiggerrr....

ziggi said...

good long strong nails - imperative for getting out ticks eh?!

Marianne said...

I'm with your sister on this one. If I ever wear nail varnish it has to be black. Something about the dissonance in the image. One of my sons (also tall, dark and handsome but not with me for Easter)is a Goth and we used to swap varnish and remover when he lived at home. We also compete on the hair front, both having long dark hair - he's winning on length.
I could move on to metal studded collars - all the rage at goth gigs.

Karen said...

Indeed M&M I used to eat mud and coal as a child. By choice you understand - my mother was not neglectful and I didn't have to forage in the garden for food (unless I was after a bit of mint or thyme). I just liked the taste of mud and coal.

Gill said...

Nail varnish is the only cosmetic I usually wear. I have a lovely shade of purplish black on at the minute, called Temptress. It hides the dirt where I've been gardening. The nails on the pic there look like they have mouse droppings on them.

Anonymous said...

I had no idea until I heard a short feature on Woman's Hour this last week, and then read this article, how important fingernails were to all you women...

But then I never appreciate just how long it takes you to look that good - I just assume it happens naturally..

Karen said...

I painted mine a deep reddish colour last night because I fancied it as I haven't painted my nails for ages. I can't remember what it's called but it's Boots No7

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